Another Postcard

Our third postcard from a "very small island in the Atlantic Ocean" (Porto Santo)

Our First Postcard!

We received our first two postcards today from Postcrossing. We are so excited!

The first is from Germany

The second is from England

They Still Need Me

I can not even begin to describe the guilt I feel when (yes when) I get mad because my littlest won't stay in bed. And then there are nights like tonight where she just wants to "wock" (rock) in her chair with me. She usually wants to play a little but she does so with a whisper so I let her for a little while at least. Some nights I just can't muster the energy...most nights I make myself. Because I have learned that time truly flies when you are raising little ones. Pregnancy felt like it would never end...their childhoods feel like they're flying by. I try to enjoy every moment knowing that it will pass too soon and yet I fail some nights (and days for that matter) justifying it to myself by saying "You've done more than enough for the day" but still the guilt sets in at night, sitting here in the quiet. I like the quiet and sometimes I need the quiet. Raising a child is not about my needs though...I gave up that right, right?! I feel like every day is a constant battle to do everything I can for them while still making time for me...and my husband. Unfortunately, I fall short every day. Every day I am left wondering where I went wrong and why I am unable to do everything I feel like I should. The funny thing is that I am the only one who sees these shortcomings. And so I obsess even more. How am I so good at hiding my feelings and deficiencies from those closest to me? And why do I?

Both of my kids have different ways of letting me know that I am needed...and wanted. Sometimes emotions fly and/or voices are raised. Other times, cuddles and kisses are given with no strings attached on either end. Both methods get my attention although that attention looks different. You'd think being in a behavioral field that I would have it all under control but I don't. It's hard to be objective when it's your kid and you are in charge of their happiness and childhood and everything good (and bad) is because of you. It's a lot of pressure...A LOT! It's totally worth it but stressful and anxiety-inducing nonetheless. However, at the end of the day, all that really matters is my kids and husband know that I have tried my best...because I have.

Holy Wow!!

I was sitting here reading someone else's blog post (because I have nothing else to do *sarcasm*) and started thinking about how I haven't written a post in a while.  I looked back to my blog and saw that it has been almost a year - A YEAR!! Holy smokes have my kiddos grown in that amount of time!! So here is a rundown of things that have happened...

Bucky started 2nd grade

Playtime in the pool

Kira turned 2!

BJJ tournament

Our first NFL game

Gamma and Grandaddy came for snuggles 

Halloween

Soccer

Thanksgiving

Home for Christmas

Geocaching

 Easter in Tucson

Ab Challenge

A couple of my very good friends and former A Co ladies have joined together to (hopefully) complete this Ab Challenge. We did not design it and it started as a picture posted on FB from one friend to another. It snowballed from there and so far I have stuck to it. In all honesty, today was only the first day :). But I did it! You have to start somewhere, right? And with all of us doing it together, we can motivate, remind, hound, and whatever else is needed to complete this challenge. After this one, I'm thinking the push up challenge may be next :)

Ringing in the New Year

I was sleeping. Not gonna lie, I did not make it to midnight for the first time in many years. But with a 4 month old baby girl, I'm allowed. And I did see 130 and 430 - surely that counts for something?? On New Year's Day, I was sick. So far, the year is going uphill :). I am feeling better, baby girl sleeps about 5-6 hours at night most nights, and my family is happy, healthy, and home again. We had a great time visiting my fam in PC but it's always nice to get back home. My only regret is not getting in touch with some of my friends while there but (get ready for excuses) I was cold sick the whole time, along with my babies and the time flew by way too fast. It seems like I finally got to sit...well...on the drive back home. It's nice to go, go, go sometimes but next time I am taking a moment to stop and smell the roses (and visit friends who I miss very much).

This year, I plan to...
Take more pictures (yes, MORE)
Organize my house so that I can feel accomplished and my kids can grow up in a clean household
Organize my life!
Go back to school (not just talk about it...actually do it)
Show some love
Help my kiddos be the happiest, healthiest, greatest kids they can be

I would love to show you all a picture of me at midnight like most people love posting on Facebook but I am not a pretty sleeper ;).

What A Difference

 A year makes. Today is our baby's 5th birthday and we couldn't be more proud of the handsome and wonderful little boy that he has become. We love our precious little one more and more each day and look forward to watching him continue to grow and learn. Look at how he's changed!

2012

2011

We started off the morning with him jumping into our bed and we sand "Happy Birthday" to him while he smiled and giggled. Then we gave him his bike to ride later after we exchange it because it's a little too big. He proceeded to open the package from Gamma and Grandaddy and it was so funny to watch him tear through it all yet talk about it all. It broke his heart when it was time to get dressed to go to school. Until he remembered he got to take some cupcakes for everybody :).

The little girl across the street that Bucky has grown quite fond of playing with as often as is allowed baked him some cookies last night. She came over after school and gave them to him along with a beautiful card she designed. (Excuse the white Asian kids in the picture - the sun was really bright! :) )

Time For Change

And not the Obama kind of change that is full of ideas but implementation is lacking. I mean real change. After reading "How to Miss a Childhood" this morning while sitting by my wonderful almost 5 year old baby boy, I realized that I follow a lot of the recipe and it saddened me. I do it without even realizing it because it has become habit. It's a bad habit that needs to be changed. After all, there is nothing more important than raising my kiddo to know that he is more important than a damn phone. How sad is it that all the new and "wonderful" technology has taken over family values? So today is a new day and I plan on using it to change some very bad habits and start new. Clean slate. This is going to take some time, I know, because it is too easy to fall back into old routines. We do have some things we do together every day or week but I can always do more. Even though I am a perfectionist (a battle in itself), I am going to try my best to spend more quality time with my kiddo. Anyone else up for the challenge?

I mean, come on, look at him! Who wouldn't want to spend more time with my "wild child"? 

Wahhhh!

I really need to get my camera out! I realized today that I don't think I have taken any pictures with my camera since the Christmas and New Year's holidays. What in the world have I been thinking?! The days are passing very quickly and my little boy is getting bigger and bigger. He put his bathroom stool in the Goodwill pile the other day because he can now reach the sink to wash his hands without standing on it. (SN: He took it out a couple of days later because he decided he can reach it better with the stool :) ). Either way, this little act showed me how big our little boy is getting and how fast time has gone. Note to self: Must get camera out soon and often!

Welcome...

...to the world, Caitlyn Thi Kirkland! My 2nd niece was born on Dec 17, 2011. She weighed in at 7 lbs, 3.8 oz and was 21 in long. And she is gorgeous! She is a wonderful baby and has a very loving big sister. Here are a few pictures I took while there over the holidays.

Just Thinking...

I think it's normal for a parent of a young child to start pondering everything their child has learned and has done over the past year as their next birthday rapidly approaches. So here I sit thinking about the joys that I get from taking care of our son. They range from him still saying "goo" rather than glue, "lellow" rather than yellow, and "sdune" rather than spoon to being so much more coordinated this year that he can actually kick the soccer ball down a field and into the goal. While there are still bad moments like being told "I don't like you mom" or even "I hate you" and just recently "I wish you were at work and daddy was here", the good definitely outweighs the bad...I must be doing something right! I think that means we should keep him :).

Pointy Hair

After Bucky's game on Saturday, we went to Great Clips (with a coupon) to get him a haircut. After she was done cutting, he said he wanted it "pointy." She asked me if it was okay to do that. I said, "Why not? Go for it." (with a smile of course)

He also enjoyed a blueberry lollipop because he was so good. :)

St. Patty's Day

For St Patty's Day pics, I had to bribe Bucky with some outside play if he would smile for me. He certainly knows how to turn on the charm just like his daddy. Little does he know he would've been playing outside anyway because it was such a gorgeous day :).

Canvas People

I don't know if the deal is still going on but Canvas People was having a special on their canvases. They were having a free 8x10 canvas...all you pay is shipping. Or you can buy a bigger canvas and get a $50 discount. I ordered the 11x11 canvas and paid around $35 after all was said and done. Here is the picture I chose. I love all the pictures I took that day but this one fit best on the square canvas.

Just for Fun

I realized the other day that I haven't used my "good" camera in over a month...A MONTH! I couldn't believe that. I am, after all, the person that was taking way TOO many pictures every day for months and months. So...I picked it up and I immediate regretted not picking it up sooner. I love taking pictures and it allows me to focus on something through the lens rather than real life. It's my break and I plan on taking advantage of it much more in the upcoming months. But, anywho, here are some pics I took in the backyard because I felt like it...